Social Anxiety and Self-Consciousness in Teens and Adults

Social Anxiety in Teens and Adults:

Common Signs:

Some common symptoms of Social Anxiety in Teens include:

1. Avoidance Behavior: Social Anxiety in teens may lead to avoiding social situations that might trigger their anxiety, such as skipping school events, declining invitations to parties or gatherings, or avoiding speaking up in class.
2. Physical Symptoms: Social anxiety often produces physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, blushing, rapid heartbeat, nausea, or dizziness. These symptoms can be particularly distressing for teens, especially if they fear that others will notice and judge them for their reactions.
3. Difficulty Initiating or Maintaining Conversations: Teens, or adults, with social anxiety may struggle to initiate conversations or maintain them once they’ve started. They may fear that they will run out of things to say or that others will find them boring or awkward.
4. Self-Consciousness: Teens and adults with social anxiety can be excessively self-conscious, and constantly preoccupied with how they are perceived by others. They constantly worry about saying or doing something they might think others would find embarrassing, leading to a heightened sense of self-monitoring.

Causes and Triggers: 

Here are some of the key factors:

1. Brain Chemistry: Neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine, are involved in regulating mood, emotions, and stress response. Teens, or people, with imbalances in these chemicals, may be more prone to experiencing social anxiety.
2. Environmental Factors: Environmental factors such as parenting styles, family dynamics, traumatic experiences, and social learning can influence one’s perception of social interactions and their ability to cope with social stressors.
3. Early Life Experiences: Negative or traumatic experiences in early childhood, such as bullying, rejection, or social isolation, can shape a teen’s beliefs and attitudes about themselves and others, leading to feelings of insecurity and fear in social situations. The pressure to fit in and conform to social norms can also contribute to feelings of anxiety and inadequacy.

The role of technology:

1. Comparison and Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): Social media platforms often present idealized versions of people’s lives, leading teenagers to compare themselves unfavorably and feel inadequate. Seeing others’ curated images of success, happiness, and popularity can exacerbate feelings of inferiority and Social Anxiety in Teens.
2. Constant Connectivity: The presence of smartphones and social media means that teenagers are constantly connected to their social networks, leaving little room for solitude and self-reflection. 

How To Cope: Social Anxiety and Self-Consciousness

If you have formed social anxiety or excessively self-consciousness, the following are ways to reduce it and make the best of your situation:

Negative thoughts, beliefs, and images:

Thoughts can be words, or mental images, in your mind.

Examples:

“I don’t know what to say – people will think that I’m stupid.” (thought) –> Image of self as a weakling.

“Everyone will look at me when I walk in and I will shake.” (thought) –> Image of self shaking like a leaf and others smirking.

“I will stammer and not find my words.” (thought) –> Image of self flushed and sweating, and the look of pity on faces of others.

“I sounded pathetic when I asked a question.” (thought) –> Image of self with a high squeaky voice, others looking strong and calm.

How can I reduce my negative thoughts, beliefs, and images?

1. Identify Negative Thoughts:

• Recognize negative automatic thoughts as they occur.
• Be mindful of the thoughts associated with self-doubt, fear, or inadequacy.

2. Challenge Negative Thoughts:

• Instead of letting the negative thought wander around in your mind, question the validity of it.
• Ask yourself if there’s evidence supporting or contradicting these thoughts.

3. Reframe Negative Images:

• When you visualize negative images, consciously replace them with positive or neutral images.
• For example, replace the image of yourself as a weakling with an image of strength and confidence.

4. Mindfulness and Distraction:

• Practice mindfulness to stay in the present moment and avoid dwelling on negative thoughts.
• Engage in activities that distract your mind from negative images, such as hobbies or exercise.

5. Seek Evidence for Positive Outcomes:

• Challenge catastrophic thinking by seeking evidence for positive outcomes.

6. Gratitude Journaling:

• Regularly write down things you are thankful for to promote a positive mindset.

Ask Yourself Questions:

In particular, ask yourself if you have any of the following unhelpful thinking styles:

1. Am I mind-reading?

For example, “They probably think I’m insecure.” 

In this case, you don’t tend to find out or look to see what the other person thinks. You assume, believe your negative view, and blame it on the other person.

2. Am I Assuming?

For example, “Everyone would think of my presentation as boring.” 

Instead of assuming the worst, remind yourself of past experiences where things didn’t go as badly as you had imagined. 

3. Am I catastrophizing?

For example, “If my interview doesn’t go right, such & such terrible things would happen.“ 

Counter the catastrophic thoughts by asking yourself, “What’s the worst that could realistically happen?” Sometimes, the worst possible outcome isn’t even “the worst,” but it is uncertainty that overwhelms us. The recognition makes it seem less outrageous and nerve-wracking.

4. Am I personalizing the situation?

For example, “They are all laughing. They must be talking about me.“

If you encounter such situations, remind yourself that their mood may have nothing to do with you and could be related to other factors in their life.

5. Am I focusing on the negative things only?

For example, “I stuttered during a conversation with my crush.” (ignoring that every other conversation with them was fluent.

For instance, rather than fixating on one bad experience, focus on the times when you had enjoyable and fulfilling interactions with them, or other people.

How can I stop focusing on myself?

People with social anxiety may concentrate a lot on their bodies, especially looking for the symptoms of anxiety, like shaking, sweating, blushing, and difficulties in speaking.

The image is often driven by their anxiety and fears, but it is not reality. They focus on their thoughts with the negative images and views of themselves mentioned in the previous section.

They judge themselves harshly after the event. Often reminiscing over and over again, thinking how they could have done better.

A few ways of reducing self-consciousness are:

• Do not ‘monitor’ yourself in social situations: pay attention to what is happening around you:
• look at other people and the surroundings;
• listen to what is being said (not to your negative thoughts);
• don’t take all the responsibility for keeping conversations going – silence is OK, other people can contribute as well.
• Develop a habit of positive self-talk to counteract self-consciousness.
• Gradually expose yourself to social situations that trigger self-consciousness. Start with smaller, manageable settings and progressively increase the complexity, allowing yourself to adapt and build confidence over time.

If you focus less on your body, the symptoms will eventually stop.

Begin to recognize that your physical symptoms of anxiety are not as noticeable as you think. 

External Resources:

The author of this article took inspiration and help from an E-book in the following link, Social Anxiety.

• https://web.ntw.nhs.uk/selfhelp/leaflets/Social%20Anxiety.pdf

Recap: Social Anxiety and Self-Consciousness

Social Anxiety in Teens is relatively common, with approximately 7-9% of adolescents.

It is characterized by intense fear or anxiety about social situations, with individuals often worrying about being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated. 

Overcoming Unhelpful Thinking Styles:

Questioning mind-reading, fortune-telling, catastrophizing, personalizing situations, and focusing on negatives.

Reducing Self-Consciousness:

1. Avoid Over-Monitoring:

• Focus on surroundings and others rather than internal negative thoughts.
• Share conversational responsibility; silence is acceptable, and others can contribute.

2. Positive Self-Talk:

• Develop a habit of positive self-talk to counteract self-consciousness.

3. Progressive Exposure:

• Gradually expose oneself to social situations, starting small and progressing.

4. Body-Focused Attention:

• Recognize that physical symptoms are not as noticeable as perceived.
• Decrease focus on bodily reactions to alleviate symptoms over time.

Mental Health Help:

National Helplines:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Online Resources:

• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): https://www.nami.org
• MentalHealth.gov: https://www.mentalhealth.gov

Local Resources

When looking for mental health support, it’s often best to start locally. Many communities have mental health clinics, hospitals, and community centres that offer counselling and therapy services. You can find these services by searching online directories, like Psychology Today’s Therapist Finder, which allows you to filter results by location, specialty, and insurance coverage. Additionally, your primary care doctor can be a valuable resource, as they can refer you to local mental health professionals or services that meet your needs.

How to Find Help

Finding the right mental health help can be overwhelming, but there are several ways to simplify the process:

1. Online Directories: Websites like Psychology Today, GoodTherapy, and Therapist Finder offer comprehensive directories of mental health professionals. These platforms let you search by location, issues treated, and insurance acceptance.
2. Health Insurance Providers: Your health insurance provider can give you a list of covered mental health services and providers, ensuring you receive care within your network.
3. Healthcare Providers: Don’t hesitate to speak with your primary care physician or a general practitioner. They can provide referrals to trusted mental health professionals or guide you on how to access the services you need.